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Stranger Anxiety
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Stranger anxiety tends to first happen with babies around 5 months, but by 16 months, this phenomenon is more accurately called "stranger suspicion."
It occurs when toddlers view people other than their parents as a threat. Your child may hide behind you, try to run away or even cry when introduced to -- or held by -- a new person. And, while it may be embarrassing when your toddler refuses Great Aunt Gertrude's hugs, it is considered appropriate and normal behavior for toddlers. After all, we don't want them running off with the first person who is nice to them.
Like most other childhood phases, separation anxiety is unique with each child. According to Dr. Harvey Karp, author of "The Happiest...
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If it is in your child's nature to be nervous around new people, give her some time to warm up to the situation. Lead by example, let her see you greet and hug someone first. She will get the signal that this person is ok to Mommy or Daddy so they must be a good person. You could also talk with her before she enters the situation. Let her know that you are all going to a place where there will be people you haven't seen for a while and that you are looking forward to introducing her to these people. She may feel better knowing what to expect before she goes into the new situation. If you want to describe Great Aunt Gertrude a little bit, it might also help your child have a familiarity of that person as well
Probably the worst thing you can do is to not validate your child's reaction to a new person no matter what it is. If your toddler is freaked out every time your housekeeper comes over, it will not help to just say "oh stop it, it's just so and so." You child will probably cry harder and feel unsafe. Try making it clear that you are not going anywhere and maybe say, "This is Elizabeth. You've met her before. She helps mommy clean the house. I know it's a little scary to see people we don't know well. Let's go in the other room and play." The more your child knows that whatever their reaction, they're still safe, the more they will open up to new people. Just don't push.
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