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What Experts Say

If your teen is struggling in school, it's tempting to rush out at the first sign of trouble to get help. While tutoring is a good idea for kids who need a little extra support or who learn best with in-depth explanations, you might resist the urge to call in a tutor the minute your child brings home a B.

"When kids are struggling in school, it's important not to frame it as a failure," says Madeline Levine, a child psychologist and author of "The Price of Privilege" (HarperCollins, 2006).

Pressuring your child to get a tutor can make her feel even more pressure to succeed and even worse about failing. Instead, talk it through with her until you have her "buy in" to the idea, Levine says....

If your teen is struggling in school, it's tempting to rush out at the first sign of trouble to get help. While tutoring is a good idea for kids who need a little extra support or who learn best with in-depth explanations, you might resist the urge to call in a tutor the minute your child brings home a B.

"When kids are struggling in school, it's important not to frame it as a failure," says Madeline Levine, a child psychologist and author of "The Price of Privilege" (HarperCollins, 2006).

Pressuring your child to get a tutor can make her feel even more pressure to succeed and even worse about failing. Instead, talk it through with her until you have her "buy in" to the idea, Levine says.

Let her know that you know how hard she's been working, and that you understand how frustrating it must be to try and try and not get the results she wants. After a while, hopefully she'll feel like getting a tutor is her idea, and not yours.

Also, be particularly leery of the current trend to call in tutors to boost academic performance if your child is already a good student. You'll send a signal that success is all that matters, experts say. After all, the last thing you want your child to learn is that her best isn't good enough.

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