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This is a conversation that might cause parents to feel dread, anxiety, or embarrassment. It might be difficult for you to think of your daughter, your little girl, engaged in any kind of sexual activity, but as much as you might try, you can't press the "pause" button on your daughter's maturation.

It's important that you start talking to her about sex when she's as young as 8 or 9 years old; tailor the conversation to her maturity level. These talks will help her get accurate information (before she hears something incorrect from her peers), understand your values, and know that she can come to you when she has questions or problems.

You might feel uncomfortable talking about sex, and, let's...

This is a conversation that might cause parents to feel dread, anxiety, or embarrassment. It might be difficult for you to think of your daughter, your little girl, engaged in any kind of sexual activity, but as much as you might try, you can't press the "pause" button on your daughter's maturation.

It's important that you start talking to her about sex when she's as young as 8 or 9 years old; tailor the conversation to her maturity level. These talks will help her get accurate information (before she hears something incorrect from her peers), understand your values, and know that she can come to you when she has questions or problems.

You might feel uncomfortable talking about sex, and, let's face it, we are not all Dr. Ruth. Not only do your own experiences learning about sex -- and any religious and societal stigmas about sex -- affect your comfort level, but many parents also fear that they won't be able to answer their children's questions. If you feel this way, it's okay to communicate this during the conversation by saying something such as, "This might feel a little awkward or uncomfortable, but I really want us to find a way to talk with each other about these kinds of things. And if you have any questions that I can't answer, we'll find the answers together."

During the conversation, you should talk about the practical aspects of sex, such as the parts of the body and birth control, but also about what is involved in sexual relationships, such as trust, love, and responsibility.

Additionally, you might want to explore dating, and talk about the time it takes to really get to know somebody (this helps counter the message that the media often sends about jumping from a first or second date into a sexual relationship).

You should talk about how girls can handle pressure they might feel to have sex, and perhaps have a few suggestions for what to do if your daughter feels pressured. Finally, make sure to listen to anything your daughter might have to say on the topic. Ideally, it is a two-sided conversation!

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Nov 27, 2008 at 7:48:10 PM

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chris_brown_extree
September 19, 2007

THE SEX THING

MY 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER (I HAVE 2) ASKED CAN SHE GO TO A PARTY AND I SAID YES.WHEN SHE GOT BACK IT WAS 11:00 AT NIGHT I WAS REALLY MAD SHE SAID "MOM CAN WE TALK" AND I SAID "YES WE MAY LETS START WITH THE FACT YOU ARE HOME AT 11:00 IN...  read more

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LiLMamaRose
September 18, 2007

HELP!

Hello, I'm 28 and my daughter will be 10 in December. I am currently concerned as to how approach the topic of SEX. She once asked me what it meant and it was a jaw dropper for me and pretty much caught me off guard. i basically told her...  read more

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MEDINA4720
September 17, 2007

GEALING WITH OUR KIDS ON THE SEX WORD

I HAVE A 4YR OLD LITTLE GIRL AND I AM TRYING TO TALK TO HAR ABOUT SEX ALREADY IT STARTED OFF WITH WHEN MY HUSBAND AND U WERE CLOSING OUR BEDROOM DOOR WHEN WE HEARD BOTH OF OUR KIDS SAY (WHY ARE YOU GUYS GONA HAVE SEX) IT WAS A JAW DROPING MOMENT WE BOTH DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO REACT. THEN IT...  read more

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