Parentpedia

What Experts Say

How you should prepare your home depends on how old your child will be when he or she comes home. At the minimum you'll want:

• clothes (but don't buy too much or at least leave the tags on -- especially if you don't know how old the child you get might be)
• age-appropriate toys
• kid- and infant-friendly foods (or formula)
• bottles and diapers (if adopting a toddler or infant)
• space for the child to sleep
• linens
• child-proofing supplies (especially for toddlers and preschoolers!)
• a car seat or booster seat, depending on the child's age

In international adoption you'll likely have a fairly predictable timeline to get ready, but if you're adopting domestically -- whether infant adoption or foster-to-adopt -- you'll need to be more flexible.

If you've been waiting to be a parent for some time, it can feel scary to contemplate setting up a nursery or room. Are you just setting yourself up for another disappointment? But, giving yourself the chance to prepare is a way to cement your commitment to building the family you're yearning for.

"Every adoptive parent is different: What is premature obsessing for one might be healthy preparation for another. Ask yourself if gathering baby clothes, toys, and other paraphernalia will help you deal with waiting or make the wait harder. In general, hold off on fully decorating a nursery until you have a serious match," says Micky Duxbury, author of Making Room in Our Hearts. "You can find ways to honor your intention of becoming a parent while being careful of not setting yourself up for disappointment."

You can do this by choosing just a few small things that are symbolic of your intention to be parents, such as a special stuffed toy or picture for your future child's room. The rest can wait. Sure, sometimes adoptions can happen very quickly but don't worry. Anything you don't have right away you can easily pick up at your local superstore.