As summertime approaches and parents pack the last lunches and await the final report cards, they face a familiar worry: What to do with the kids during the summer? Finding quality childcare is time consuming and expensive, but leaving teens home for the whole day can be worrisome for parents. How do you know when it's time to let your teenagers and preteens stay by themselves while you're at work?
Parents can feel confident that, when handled skillfully, allowing teenagers to stay home while mom and dad are at work is a wonderful opportunity to provide the space kids need to mature. Parents who set their teens up for success by assessing their maturity level and providing an appropriate amount of support and guidance are giving their kids a valuable experience. They're letting them develop independence and helping them learn to trust themselves -- skills that will help them in college and beyond.
Parents can feel confident that, when handled skillfully,
allowing teenagers to stay home while mom and dad are at work is
a wonderful opportunity to provide the space kids need to mature.
Parents who set their teens up for success by assessing their
maturity level and providing an appropriate amount of support and
guidance are giving their kids a valuable experience. They're
letting them develop independence and helping them learn to trust
themselves -- skills that will help them in college and
beyond.
How to Know if Your Teen is Ready
When you're deciding whether your teen should stay alone consider
maturity rather than age. Most local governments regulate the
minimum ages at which kids can stay home alone, but remember that
children mature at different rates, and a 14-year-old might be
capable of caring for himself, while a 16-year-old might still be
better off with some adult supervision.
Before you decide to leave your son or daughter home alone, make sure that you can answer yes to these questions:
- Does your teen often take responsibility for things like homework and chores? If you have to constantly remind your daughter to call to say what time she'll be home, than she might not be able to handle a whole day without adult guidance.
- Does your child make good decisions independently? If your son has shown you that he's able to handle unfamiliar situations, then he has the critical thinking skills necessary to handle the unexpected while you're at work.
- Does your teenager have the necessary life skills? In order to stay home alone, your teenager needs to be able to safely use the stove and other household appliances, and should be able to use money effectively enough to order pizza and tip appropriately.
- Do you have a trusting relationship with your teen? Mutual trust is key. Before you leave your child home all day, you need to be able to trust him or her to follow the guidelines that you've set. Likewise, your teen needs to be able to trust that you'll be home on time and available if he or she needs you.
- Does your teenager have a good relationship with younger siblings? If your teenager will be caring for younger siblings while you work, make sure that they get along reasonably well together. Sibling rivalry is normal, but if your children hurt each other or if your younger child doesn't listen to your older one, then you shouldn't leave them alone together.
Ensuring Success
Under the right circumstances, leaving your teen home while you
work can be a great way to allow your teenager healthy growing
room. As you make plans, be sure to set your teen up for success.
It might be tempting to think that you shouldn't prepare your
teen but should force him or her to figure things out alone. If
you fail to plan carefully, though, you're encouraging failure,
which could set your teen back developmentally.
© Copyright 2003-7 SheKnows, LLC and/or individual copyright holders. All Rights Reserved.
1 |
