The other day my sister Laurie was complaining about her kids and their brazen insolence. "They're little kids, and they're already saying things to me that you and I would never have said to Mom, even as teenagers!" It's the gratuitous insult, like her six-year-old telling her she looks old. Or it's simple disobedience, a point-blank refusal to do this or that.

I sympathized. On the gratuitous-insult side, Larkin has been in a fervent state of dad-rejection for weeks. I'll… Read More

Posted March 4, 2009

I recall a night when Larkin was still an infant, and I'd just come back from a trip to Ireland. Lying awake at 5 a.m., I noticed it was not yet light outside, whereas in Ireland it had been light by 4 a.m. -- and still light at 9:30 p.m.. So we had 15 hours of summer daylight here in New England, versus 18 in northern Europe. I lay there wondering, Could I explain this?

This… Read More

Posted February 18, 2009

Valentine's Day approached, and how did Molly and I get ready for it? With a no-holds-barred fight. Two frustrating episodes with Larkin lit the fuse. Both involved the same dilemma -- when to draw an absolute line in dealing with Larkin's snarky behavior, and when to yield strategically. Many couples have one parent who tends to stand firm, and one who deals. Between Molly and me, she's principle and I'm pragmatism; she's the firm stander,… Read More

Posted February 4, 2009

remember back when Ed Koch, that irascible loudmouth, was mayor of New York, and at public gatherings he'd ask his audience, "So, how am I doing?" This was early in his administration, when things were going well. Later, when he felt beleaguered, he stopped asking.

Molly and I joke about this. Three years into our administration, we feel beleaguered most of the time. We're behind on work, and the house is a mess, and the… Read More

Posted January 21, 2009

What's your earliest vivid memory? For me it is a gray afternoon, and I'm listening to a record about the adventures of a dog named Muffin. Muffin goes wandering out in the world, braves storms, crosses train tracks to the sound of an approaching locomotive. At the zoo he hears the roar of a lion. The roar frightens me, and I flee in terror, running from the living room of our house, right out the front door… Read More

Posted December 24, 2008

Last weekend, Molly went to New York to see a friend, taking Larkin along. They drove away at 4 on Saturday, and I didn't see them again until Sunday night at 10, when I carried Larkin, asleep and clinging to my neck, back up to her room.

Thirty hours of freedom, all for me. The time stretched out in front of me like an enormous cake. Where to bite first?

Biology teaches us that the freed parent will… Read More