Posted Monday, June 29, 2009

When it comes to figuring out life with a toddler, parents tend to be either Read-Up-On-It types or Follow-Your-Common sense types. Sophie, the friendly Polish woman who cuts my hair, is a common senser. Sitting in her chair, I'll tell her about the latest issue with Larkin that Molly and I are trying to hash out. Maybe I'll mention an article I read; I'll sum up the pros and cons of this or that policy. What does she think? I'll ask.

"Don't worry so much," Sophie invariably says. "Just do what you think is right. Larkin will do fine." There's always a tinge of friendly reproach. You're making mountains out of molehills, is the idea. Take your head out of the parenting books and just use your common sense.

The problem is, again and again with Larkin I find myself in situations where I seem to have no common sense, no feel -- at all -- … Read More

I read a cover story in the New York Times Magazine about a 10-year-old basketball prodigy already receiving the attention of college recruiters, marketers, and coaches. The article gave an astonishing and perplexing glimpse into the world of ultra-competitive youth basketball, in which kids play on multiple teams, flying around the country and staying in hotels, while receiving all sorts of free swag from athletic goods companies. It's all about being a future "prospect." Two 10-year-old hoop stars have already been… Read More

Posted January 7, 2009

By Christmas we'd had every kind of weather here: two walloping snowstorms; a balmy 60-degree day of respite; a drenching rain; then deep freeze again. Icicles hung from our roof, giant stalactites that let loose in thundering avalanches, waking us in the night with a sense of dread.

That's not all that woke us in the night. Three nights running, circa 2 a.m., Molly and I sat bolt upright in bed as Larkin shouted hysterical complaints… Read More

Posted April 15, 2009

Every night, we read Larkin bedtime stories, dream-world fantasies designed to comfort and lull. But almost every day the real world serves up the opposite -- "badtime stories" (the phrase comes from New York Times parenting blogger Judith Warner) that frighten and unsettle. Our local paper reports on an 8-year-old boy who killed himself with an Uzi at a gun show his father took him to. The details of the boy's death are unspeakably horrifying, and as… Read More

The other day my sister Laurie was complaining about her kids and their brazen insolence. "They're little kids, and they're already saying things to me that you and I would never have said to Mom, even as teenagers!" It's the gratuitous insult, like her six-year-old telling her she looks old. Or it's simple disobedience, a point-blank refusal to do this or that.

I sympathized. On the gratuitous-insult side, Larkin has been in a fervent state of dad-rejection for weeks. I'll… Read More

Posted March 4, 2009

I recall a night when Larkin was still an infant, and I'd just come back from a trip to Ireland. Lying awake at 5 a.m., I noticed it was not yet light outside, whereas in Ireland it had been light by 4 a.m. -- and still light at 9:30 p.m.. So we had 15 hours of summer daylight here in New England, versus 18 in northern Europe. I lay there wondering, Could I explain this?

This… Read More