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Last Thursday night, I completely flipped out about my weight. I know I already confessed to being in tears in my bed, pouting over what the scale read.

I woke up resolved to fix it last Friday, and just one week later, I have: I'm back to my normal weight and wearing my tight jeans comfortably. (Well, kinda comfortably.)

The funny thing is, last Friday in my local newspaper, there was a story that basically put forth the premise that weight is almost as inherited as height. It's much more difficult than people realize to lose weight.

As a former fat girl, I don't actually believe that: I *know* first-hand just how hard it is to lose weight. But I also know it's not impossible.

For me, I have to cut out sugar. This, more than anything else, is the reason I can be 10 pounds lighter today than I was last Thursday. Sugar can cause the body to retain more water - and that's definitely what happens in my body. When I lose the "water weight," it's because I dumped sugar from my diet. People sometimes say that's not real weight loss. Well, I challenge those people to come on over to my house and watch me get dressed. As a 5'3" woman, when I drop five or 10 pounds, it's significant on my frame. It changes how my clothing fits, and what I see when I look in the mirror. And, of course, how I feel about myself.

This morning I weighed 139 pounds. According to Body Mass Index charts, that puts me in the "normal" weight category - but barely. I've got to work hard to stay here. And it's constant work.

That doesn't mean I can't ever have a brownie or a bagel again. But it means when I do, I have to watch the rest of what I eat very carefully.

I don't really question whether it's worth it, though. I know it is: the delicious taste of food is temporary, and eating too much in general or too much sugar leaves me with a heavy, drowsy feeling. And then there's the huge expense of replacing all my clothing should I regain weight. I threw away all my fat clothes - every single thing, even sentimental things that were hard to get rid of - and since it's no fun to buy fat clothes, why would I want to spend my hard-earned money that way?

But more than anything else, it's about how I feel about myself. When I overeat or make the wrong choices, it's a double negative (which in no way makes a positive!): I feel bad immediately, because unhealthy foods don't make your body feel good immediately after, and then later on I berate myself for my lack of self-control and cry myself to sleep. What's wrong with me, I ask myself, that I mindlessly eat garbage?

The newspaper article does have a point: we need to embrace what we are and set realistic goals. I don't think I'm going to ever be 120 pounds, for example - both because of my genetic makeup and because I - Jessica - don't have the willpower, ability, motivation, whatever. But I could be 135. It would take diligence and attention - even more so than this morning's 139 - but it might strike the balance between being a reasonable amount of work for a good enough payoff.

So for a while longer, I'm going to continue on the path I'm on: four or five small meals a day, all of them high protein, low fat. I'm eating low-fat meats, cheese, fruit, vegetables, and a few nuts if I get hungry (fat is satiating). And while victory doesn't taste sweet, it feels and looks amazing.